So this is Christmas......

All we are saying is give peace a chance as John Lennon once sang. Tomorrow marks the 28th Anniversary of his untimely death at the hands of a deluded and psychotic Mark Chapman. If John were around today he'd be one of the first to acknowledge that peace is still a long way away, maybe even further than when he were alive. Lennon also stated in his Christmas song "Happy Xmas (war is over)" that "war is over, if you want it" - indicating that it is all of us together as human beings that have a choice. At Christmas time more than ever people take stock of their lives, their situations and their aims for the future. After all the whole essence of Christmas is about peace (yes and love Ringo) stemming from the arrival of Jesus Christ to cleanse us of our sins and show us the righteous path to salvation. However Jesus, like Lennon, would also note the sheer distance we all are from peace in todays world, from the wars being fought sporadically on Jesus' doorstep in Jerusalem and the ongoing conflicts in Afghanistan to the gangland cultures in most jurisdictions. It is the people responsible for and involved with such misery on this Planet that we all want the message of peace to reach the most. Can I see it happening anytime soon? The unfortunate answer is no, I can't. Throughout history there have been many people wanting to dominate and oppress others and as we all know it would take a titanic effort to change the mindsets of people who see power, at any means, as their birthright. Yet I don't want to leave this on a pessimistic note so I won't! Instead I'll leave you with a thought provoking quote from the philosopher and author Ralph Waldo Trine:

“To be at one with God is to be at peace ...peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one's own soul."

As this is probably my last blog of the year may I take this opportunity of wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and good luck for 2009.

Nick

17 Years to make the emperors new clothes

So Chinese Democracy is finally coming out and it's arriving before the advent of Chinese democracy (which most never said it would!), 17 years since the last G'n'R originals album, 15 years after a contractual fillers album of cover versions and there's nobody left from the original line up in the band, save Axl Rose. It's obviously been a labour of love/ego *delete where appropriate. Various tracks that were alledgedly recorded for the album have been leaked over the last few years, in fact when the recording for this started, there wasn't really an "online" and the only way to get hold of unreleased songs from a band was tape trading! Back in the day, this band could do no wrong at all, they were hailed as the embodyment of "Rock and Roll", but in these more "enlightened" times, does this still hold true? Is there still a place for a band that trashes dressing rooms if the Evian isn't chilled to 1.5 degrees and a brown M&M sneaks its way in to the backstage bowl? I think there is... In this age of reality show created celebrity, it's refreshing that someone like Axl comes back to haunt the kingmakers of the music industry by reminding them of the way things used to be when bands were signed on the quality of their songs and musicianship (as well as some marketability admittedly). Kind of Marleys Ghost for the remaining shreds of the record industry.

Question is though musically, is it a valid product for the 21st century? It's not a question of whether this album is any good, it's more of a case of is it worth the wait, has Axl and his crack team of studio musicians and occasional live band hired hands been able to make something that is listenable? The issue of whether it's a progression from the Use Your Illusion albums is plainly moot, too much water has passed under the bridge since then for one, but the main reason is that it's a completely different band since those albums were recorded.

Back in the days of Appitite' I used to be a big fan, but does the older me still connect with what the 18 year old me enjoyed? Sadly on hearing this, the answer is a resounding meh! It's not that it's a bad album, it's just not a memorable one. There's nothing that I've heard that really make me sit up and take notice. It's not even a case of saying "17 years and this is all they did?" it's more a question of what was he doing for 16 years and 9 months and then chucked this out since this summer?

I'm not going to go into the merits of individual songs here as there's a variety of disparate styles (while still being in the same genre) and some of these might sit easier with some than others, but objectivity ends up being chucked out of the window when you're dealing with something like this. I really wanted to like it, I wanted this album to be the masterpiece that itwas threatened to be and thats where the problem lies. It's been too long in the making and too hyped to be just another album and sadly that's all it is

Titanic - shaping maritime future

At 12 noon on April 10th 1912 the most luxurious and ambitious ship in engineering design built for it's time set sail from the dock of Southampton bound for New York. It never reached New York. Instead it found itself confound to the History books for all time. The Titanic whom the press had dubbed "unsinkable" struck an iceberg and sank into the icy depths of the Atlantic at 2.20am on April 15th 1912 claiming the lives of 1,517 passengers and crew. Many theories have been given as to why this great Ship came to such a short, tragic end. Vast shortage of lifeboats, no binoculars on the crows nest, ice-berg warnings going amiss, no lifeboat drill training on the morning prior to the collision with the iceberg, the ship carrying on full speed ahead in spite of iceberg warnings being received from other liners, no ships coming to Titanic's aid, to name but a few. My belief is that it was simply a disastrous recipe of all the above ingredients. A cross between man made errors and pure fate if you believe in that. Going back to Maritime law of the day, it was standard practice to retain speed (which in Titanic's case was around a quick 22-23 knots) even when iceberg reports came through - hard to imagine I know, and it was no coincidence that any sailing post-Titanic would be guilty of negligence if they did the same thing.

So what other changes did the Titanic disaster bring about? First and I suppose obviously, in the future there would be enough lifeboats per craft for those on board. Also implemented on Ships therafter would be mandated lifeboat drills, 24 Hour ship radio with back up systems, red flares were to be officially recognised as distress signals (a famous rumour on Titanic was that their red distress flares were taken as celebratory firworks by nearby ships, therefore delaying any rescues.) In addition to these changes, the International Ice Patrol was founded which to this day still patrol the Atlantic for potential hazardous ice-bergs, sheet ice, etc.

So from one great ship came a set of new rules and standards that make todays nautical journeys all the more safer and secure. It's just unfortunate that, like so many things, mankind learns the important lessons needed for progress from a tragedy, in this case a tragedy that took the souls of so many innocent people and such dedicated crew....the ultimate price to pay for shaping our maritime future.

Can't actually see the difference

I got a surprise today when I switched my PC on, it turns out that the ADSL speed has been upgraded by our switched on monopolistic ISP. Trouble is that there is absolutely no difference in the speed of pages/downloads/connections whatsoever. Now I do know that there is a contention rate of 50:1 on the local exchange and that the download speed relies on the upload speed of the machine that I'm connecting to, but to see absolutely no change whatsoever is still a little bit puzzling. After doing a little research I've found that while the actual connection speed is now 3 times the previous amount, ISP's can still throttle the amount of traffic for certain services and types of connection. So while they are still claiming to offer speeds of up to 8Mbps, they can (and do) only let you have access to a certain percentage of these. What is the point of this? The only one that I can think of is that they want to pay lip service to the fact that they can offer the same service that companies (including themselves under a different name) in the UK have available, but don't actually have to provide the same end result. What can we do about this? At the moment next to sod all if you've not been with them for the requisite amount of time to change your contract and move to an alternative provider (that they are supplying wholesale to, so it probably makes no odds anyway)

Boss, drop that champagne and just come and have a look at this...

Lewis Hamilton may be a sane young man but unless you are Ferrari, Brazilian or both, no one begrudged him going round the bend today to clinch an amazing and historic World Championship title in what had to be the tightest title deciders in F1 ever. From the moment the rain lashed down on the starting grid, the race ebbed and flowed for 71 long laps as the racers fought hard, their biggest enemy being the elements. As pit crews nipped up and down checking for drops of rain, Massa led the way with Lewis driving the most conservative race of his life (no doubt due to a dear lesson learned on the same circuit last year when his aggression cost him the crown) - this race had every twist and turn in the F1 handbook - even more than the track itself! With 5 laps remaining, rain deciding to make a further appearance to up the heart rate with the leaders back in the pits getting tyres changed quicker than a Russell Brand insult. The scene was set for a dramatic finale. Hamilton came out of the pits in 6th place knowing that with Massa leading, he had to finish at least 5th to clinch the title. As the race entered it's final rain soaked lap, Hamilton seemed to buckle and with Massa cruising over the line to win the race the Brazilians were going wild. Then came the final twist (or turn, depending on what side you're on) - with two corners remaining and with Glock in that all important 5th place, Hamilton made his move and sneaked through to clamber over the line as World Champion. However it did take some time for the news to filter through, Hamilton himself didn't know if he'd done enough. The Ferrari team likewise had just opened the champagne cabinet as they started to celebrate the title, only for the pit monitors to break their hearts in cruel fashion. A pulsating end to a great season and a momentous moment for Lewis Hamilton. Eh Mr Ferrari, do you still have that champagne?

I don't like cricket (well not right now anyway)

When they said "20/20 for 20" they didn't mean that was the score to beat in the final, can someone pass that on to KP & crowd please?

Storm in a teacup or...

So there's been a bit of a fuss over some comments left on an answerphone by Jonathan Ross & Russell Brand last week.

Ok what they did was juvenile and could be seen as insulting, but surely a closer look at some of the main facts are needed. Firstly, the show was pre-recorded and played out with a producer in the control room putting the music and news etc in.

Now I'm no expert on radio, but wouldn't there have been some method of cutting the "offending" material out when it was being broadcast? Also wouldn't it have been an idea for senior production staff to have a listen to the show before it went out? This is Russell Brand for crying out loud, not a man known for not causing offence (he was fired from MTV for turning up on 12/9/01 dressed as Osama Bin Laden).

Yes the 2 of them should apologise for leaving the messages in the 1st place, but surely to pay for the prank with their jobs is taking things a little too far? The Daily Mail wants them sacked and will probably research their respective family tree's to find a hint of "Johnny Foreigner" in there so they can be "sent back to where they came from". But that's the good old middle english way of doing things! If anyone should face serious consequences for this, then it should be the BBC management (probably a middling layer) who decided not to make the usual checks on pre-recorded material that the Corporation is supposed to carry out.

The other thing is, knowing his reputation, he probably has had her and seeing as she's one of The Satanic Sluts burlesque outfit, there's a chance that a fair few people will also be able to say "hey Manuel, I cracked one off over your granddaughter!"

Whose voice is it anyway

So Led Zeppelin are going to tour with a different singer, seeing as Robert Plant doesn't want to take part in it. Good for him I say, but surely without the trademark voice they're going to be a bit lacking. Just like "Thin Lizzy" & "Queen" have been of late. However there's a few options for who they can replace him with...

Chris Cornell - Made his career by trying to sound like RP and even spent most of the late 80's and early 90's trying out the long curled, bare chested screamer look - 1/2 favourite

David Coverdale - Hair: check, open shirt: check, Sexist lyrics: check, made a career of being a 2nd division Plantalike: check. Only thing stopping him would be that he'd want to appear on Loose Women again to plug the tour! - 10,000 (screaming middle aged housewives)/1

Sebastian Bach - Claims to be asked to join just about every band going, said that he was the 1st choice for Velvet Revolver and probably has auditioned to be in Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden and probably The Wiggles as well - 5/1 outsider

Gene Simmons - Not actually to get on stage with them, but to buy up the rights to the name and launch a local version of the band in every country going with all the members wearing facemasks of the classic line up and will claim the songs are relevant and it doesn't matter who plays them as long as they look vaguely similar - $50,000/1 investment

Terry Reid - He was the original 1st choice for the singers job when the band was first put together, but turned it down thinking he was capable of better things and was about to support The Stones on the infamous 1969 tour that ended in Altamont, not even famous enough to be the Pete Best of stadium rock! - 200 (album sales since then)/1

Juande Ramos - Well he needs a job! He'll be good for getting the European leg of the tour underway, but will probably learn a set of Boyzone songs and have to be replaced by Joe Kinnear or Harry Redknapp at the interval of the 1st gig - 2(points from 8 games)/1

Rick Astley - Well he's popular again and hardly out of the media these days, so it'd be a popular choice on YouTube! - 2/1 2nd favourite

Dirty Harry....

On Friday Pompey boss Harry Redknapp was preparing his team for their home game against Fulham. By Saturday morning he was Spurs Manager. So what pursuaded much revered manager Harry Redknapp to quit Portsmouth after 4 successful years and pick up the mantle of a team who had picked up just 2 points all season and looked more disjointed than Ernie Wise's wig? To most people the answer would be simple. Cash. Lots of cash. But if you recall in January, Harry was approached for the vacant Newcastle post and he turned that down, even though I'm sure Newcastle owner Ashley would have thrown the cash at him. Now, although there was sense in that move, only a fool would step into the Tynside spotlight (oh eh sorry Joe) it does beg the question "why Spurs?" and "why now?" - My feeling is simple. It's "app Landan way", he has a soft spot for Spurs and let's face it, with Ramos blowing £60 million quid like you or I would blow out birthday candles, Harry will look forward to using his Del Boy tactics in the market and unearth some gems (Stan Collimore need not apply) - and the Spurs board will enjoy closing that wallet a little bit more now Harry's in town!

So, Harry is in Portsmouth to pick up his freedom of the City on Tuesday with what now surely must be a cross between an emotional farewell and a bitter goodbye - What price of freedom? You can guarentee there won't be any from the press...

BE afraid, be very afraid...

2 chancers, 1 blog, no hope!

Not that we're going out to destroy "the great and the good" (we'll let them do that for themselves!) but we're here to inform about it...

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